You really don’t have a clue what she wants for Valentines Day, do you? Do you know what makes her happy, makes her smile? Any idea what means the most to her? I’ve been in the spa business a long time, and after working so closely with so many women for so long, I’ve learned a few things I’d like to pass on to you. As a disclaimer, I’d like to say that no two women are alike, so don’t take any advice unless it rings true for your woman, including anything you read here. But if you have ever heard your wife or girlfriend say any of the things I’m going to share, you might want to pay attention, because if you really listen, she’s already given you an idea of what she needs.
Unfortunately, men and women sometimes speak two different languages. When she says, “I am exhausted” she might mean “Can you PLEASE cook dinner tonight, so I can rest” or she might mean “There is no way I can keep up with the house the kids, my job and all of your needs, too, so don’t EVEN go there!” You might hear “After a short nap, I’ll be fine and will make your dinner, then give you a back rub!” So you say “Honey, why don’t you go lie down for a few minutes” and are confused when she yells at you “I don’t have time for a nap!” Sometimes when a woman makes a statement, she doesn’t want an answer or advice on fixing it, she wants you to listen, understand and work with her to find a way to meet everyone’s needs.
Women like to take care of everyone. It’s what we do. We just try to do too much of it, and get easily overwhelmed and depleted. So we complain that we’re tired or frustrated when we can’t fit it all in. Sometimes guys try to be nice by giving us a gift certificate for a meal out, a spa day, or to buy something nice for ourselves. If the woman in your life is already overloaded with things to do, she may perceive this as adding one more thing to her to do list. She’ll be grateful “Oh honey, thanks, that is sooo sweet!” and then it will sit in a drawer for a year. She finds it, feels guilty she hasn’t used it and then frantically tries to find time to fit it in to her already stressed life. Here’s an example: A customer bought his wife a 4 hour spa package. She has two-year old twins. She called 3 times to try to schedule it, then cancelled each appointment, twice because of babysitting issues and once because one of them was sick. She finally made it in and then kept her cell phone on the entire visit-even answering it while getting her massage. This gift, while incredibly sweet, actually caused her more stress than it relieved.
What could have made the gift to this really stressed out Mom better? If Hubby had given her the gift certificate with a note saying:
To my beautiful, amazing wife,
“I know how hard you work to make everything wonderful for our family, so for one day, I want to give you some time for yourself. Your spa package is scheduled for ______________. I’ve already taken care of clearing your schedule, and I will be watching the kids, so take this day to be pampered! I love you!!”
On the day of her appointment, make sure to be ready to drop her off, give her cash for the gratuity, and make a huge deal to the kids about how Mommy is going to go to the spa to be treated like the queen she is! It’s super important that the kids know that Mom deserves some time for herself, and that the whole family is helping to make this a special day for her. While your wife is at the spa, you and the kids all work together to clean the house! Hey, the kids will be so excited to do something special for Mom, they will pitch in and help, (Kids love games. You can turn pretty much anything into a game and they’ll get excited about it-even cleaning!)
Now if you want to make the day really special, after picking her up, give her some time to relax and get ready for a special dinner out. Have your Mother in law keep the kids overnight and take her out to dinner, or cook a romantic dinner for her at home! Do you see where this is leading?
OK, let’s talk about something most spa owners and almost all massage therapist avoid-sex. Men do things for women in hopes that they will get to have sex later, right? Valentines’ Day is a loaded “Hallmark holiday?” and all retailers are trying to convince you that if you buy what they are selling for your wife or girlfriend, she will fall willingly in to bed with you. After 30 years of working with women, I have heard some things that may shed some light on this subject for you.
Remember earlier how I said women like to take care of people? Here’s a secret that many women don’t share-They sometimes just want someone to take care of them. With no strings attached. If you have laid the foundation by showing her you appreciate her, you’ve listened and worked to plan a special day just for her, she will be relaxed and happy, which is just the mood women need to be in to be responsive to your romantic overtures.
So here’s my professional advice. Rather than running to Kroger on Valentines Day to get her a last-minute card, candy and flowers, let’s plan a really nice day for her to relax and be pampered. Click here to purchase an Instant Gift certificate to Serenity Spa. It doesn’t matter which package you choose, just pick whatever is in your budget and we’ll make it very special! Print it out on nice paper (photo paper works great!) Click here to go to our online booking service. Book the appointment for her on a day you know she’ll be free and you will be available to take care of the kids. Now, pick up the phone and call your Mother, Mother-in-law or a babysitter and find out when they’re available to help you with your plan to pamper your wife. (Mother-in-laws LOVE this kind of thing!!) Now you can go to Kroger and buy the sweet, mushy card, put the beautiful gift certificate inside and write her a note telling her what you’ve planned for her! She will be so impressed at your thoughtfulness that you may very well get the hoped for romantic interlude you really wanted anyway! Plus the bonus special night together on the day of her spa package!
Here’s wishing you and your lovely wife a Happy Valentines Day!